Should I Marry Her?

While talking to a friend the other day we started discussing a couple that we both know who are about to jump the broom into maritial bliss. The problem that we have with them getting married is that the woman is trying to use the guy. He is a very loyal and nice guy who is struggling to make it in this world, but she is dragging him to the alter! She told him to buy her a ring that he couldn’t afford and then went back and upgraded it weeks later without his knowledge, and charged it to his account. She is banking on him getting a good job here in the next few months so that she will not have to work(She does temporary work now and is in her 40′s). She keeps telling him that she wants to start her own business, but hasn’t lifted a finger to do so. She has a college degree, but hasn’t had a meaningful job in years even before she met him. She has lived with whoever would take her in, but somehow she feels entitled to be taken care of? I would see if he could afford to “Take Care” of her financially, but making between $40-$60k isn’t going to take care of anyone in todays world let alone 2 grown adults. Problem is he doesn’t even have a job making that much now! But as I said earlier she is BANKING on him getting a job paying this much. I know that he doesn’t want to marry her, because even though she has a ring and a wedding that’s supposed to take place in less than 3 months “He hasn’t even told his mother yet!”. How do you handle a situation like this?. Thoughts?

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5 Responses to “Should I Marry Her?”

  1. Tiffany says:

    If he was my friend I would completely break the picture down from his misery now to the hell he will experience in the future. I would also let him know that if u are with someone who is not willing to help you build a foundation, be your friend, your partner, your motivator, and help you, why would you need them. If they drain you mentally, financially, emotionally, and spiritually, they are dead weight that will make ur life seem dead. Then I would tell his mama.lol

  2. Ben says:

    Ok this is an easy one. Let me get a fresh cup of coffee for this comment…OK now. No offense to the “happy couple” but this is dumb and dumber. Since I have definitely been there and done that, I’m going to try my best not to turn this into a rant. Love does make you do some strange things and sometimes it can cause you not to be rational all the time. All women want a great ring, but a true bride could care less what the ring looks like just as long she get her groom. All Women want a husband that is a great provider, but a true bride will be right there at her husband’s side working her 9-5 or at least a part time gig to lessen the strain on her man. A marriage is nothing more than a spiritual/legal business agreement. For example: You see someone that you’re attracted to so you meet (the application). You set up a more private/ personal time to get to know each other better so you do lunch or whatever (the interview). Then you go home and wait for the call (the hiring). After that ever date is just like another day at work until you two decide “We are going to partner up and do this together”. In this case this= life. I say these two are dumb and dumber because there are some red flags on both sides that the two are overlooking for the sake of jumping the broom.
    1) She’s 40 and do not have a job or any job history
    2) He is planning a major life decision based on the hope/promise of a better job
    3) She hasn’t met his family and he hasn’t arranged the meeting as the man of the household..Meaning when they do get married she’s probably going to do whatever she feels like doing and not respect his wishes. Every woman that truly wants to be a man’s life long partner wants to meet his mother and family. They want to feel them out and see what they have signed up for. Her, not really pushing the issue, and him not introducing the woman that pushed him into this world is wrong and the marriage is doomed from go.
    4) The act of taking the ring back and upgrading it without his knowledge and charging it to his account has several red flags: He has trusted her with his finances meager as they may be there are still HIS until they jump the broom, and she has violated that trust ALREADY! Meaning, she will do it again. Also, he’s at fault because she has forced him to be enabler by knowing he’s not going to say anything about it. Without trust you have nothing is a marriage. This couple needs to seek counseling and really ask themselves is this what they really want. He should ask her one question: “Why do you want to marry me”? Then he should ask himself a question, “Will she accept me for who I am as I am”? I read this topic and I am so thankful that I have experienced people in my life that wanted me for what I had and now I realize it took those experiences to open my eyes and be able to appreciate someone who loves me for me and could care less about all the other “Stuff”. The beauty of marriage is knowing you have that one person in your corner no matter how tough the road gets, no matter what hurdles get in the way…you have that one fan, cheerleader, best friend, advisor, comedian, refuge…when the rest of the world need you to be everything they just need/want you to be happy.

  3. mista polite says:

    I think dude shud definitely re-evaluate his situation cause he is digging a hole for himself that’s gonna take a lifetime to get out of. I wish dude luck but it don’t look good!!

  4. Thecla says:

    WOW!!!!!!……………too much of a price of pay………..
    get out now………………..

  5. Thecla says:

    WOW!!!!!!……………too much of a price to pay………..
    get out now………………..